Talk to most women and they will tell you they have been on a diet at some time in their life if not all through their life. The battle of the bulge, thunder thighs and ‘does my bum look big in this’ phrase are all too familiar.
Move more and eat less they say and I guess this does ring true but ladies, honestly, who can resist a nice piece of chocolate cake with a big dollop of cream on the side, not me ...
How did I get so fat!
I’m looking in the mirror
I can’t believe my eyes
Who is this woman staring back
As big as two pork pies!
However did this happen
It seems like yesterday
When I was just a skinny thing
I don’t know what to say
Maybe it was childbirth
That made me get this way
Or maybe it was all the food
That I had in a day
The soda and the french fries
The bag of sweets at night
Cherry flavoured ice cream
I ate everything in sight
I really must do something
I’m just a tub of lard
I know it won’t be easy
I know it will be hard
I’ve tried a lot of diets
From Atkins to South Beach
I’ve read a lot of diet books
But didn’t practice what they preach
I really only lasted
A day or two if that
I gave up way too early
That’s why I am so fat
But now it is a new day
I’m going to make a start
I’ll exercise and eat good food
And be kind to my heart
I’ll toss out all the junk food
My fridge will get a clean
Only fresh will be the best
To get my body lean
No more will I be tempted
By doughnuts filled with cream
Or sausages with cheese inside
They’ll only be a dream
I’ll do a million push ups
A five mile walk will do
I’ll get this body moving
To shift a pound or two
But wait, there’s someone calling
A familiar voice I hear
My neighbour Mrs Archibald
Is standing at my door
A plate of peanut cookies
Banana muffins too
Chocolate covered caramels
I don’t know what to do
I really must resist them
Not one shall pass my lips
Each one a thousand calories
Will end up on my hips
They all look so delicious
As fresh as fresh can be
I really must resist them
Because one will end up three
My mind is saying turn away
Never to look back
My taste buds are just telling me
Go on – it’s just a snack
And like so many days before
When I should stand my ground
I’m reaching for a caramel
And hear a munching sound
I really had the best intent
To melt the pounds away
So all I have to say right now
Is tomorrow’s another day !
